First off, I would like to state that in no way do I consider myself the most qualified person to discuss this topic, but having served as a peer counselor of sorts for some years now I have been given much material to think about. Material on which I have pondered for equally as long a time as I have been hearing it. To start, I would like to address the ladies, to whom I would like to say first “Do not worry. The guys will have their time too. Just wait and please remember this disclaimer as you read.
The first issue I would like to address is the following quote… “Mature (or good) guys are so hard to find.”
My first response to this is as follows. "Start looking elsewhere!" Whether you want to believe it or not, there are many good and mature guys waiting for a mature gal (pardon my use of outdated terms) to come along. Please believe-WE ARE OUT THERE. Please allow me to use a brief metaphor, one of which I am extremely fond. Once you find out that the ocean contains only saltwater fish, why would you return then the next day fishing for freshwater fish? We are not hard to find.
Second, I would like to address another situation which I have heard far too often, but which relates directly to situation #1. This is of course the constant complaining I hear about the douche-bag boyfriend. First off on this topic, if you follow my advice in situation #1, you will either eliminate this problem altogether or at least minimize it to some degree. Second on this topic: Ladies…you can do so much better than the self-absorbed douche-bag. Why you think that there is some need to keep going back to the same type of guy who treats you like crap and makes you feel likewise is apparently beyond my comprehension. To those of you who read this (if you exist) please explain this to me. Myself and millions of other guys are dying to know. By all means, please comment. My advice…Stop subjecting yourself to that kind of treatment. Another metaphor if you will allow (not that I really care). If eating certain foods gives you the craps, how can you expect to eat it another time and not expect to get the craps? That’s just it. IT WILL! And you can give me the excuse that all guys are different, to which I will respond “True”. He may seem like a great guy to start out with, but when he starts exhibiting the douche-bag symptoms, that’s probably good sign that he’s a doucher. Dump him and don’t look back. After a while, people will begin to tire of hearing the same complaint from you, when everyone know that you bring it on yourself, and eventually people will stop listening. And also on this note, if you continue to be with guys like this, you are only perpetuating the problem by making all the other douche-bags out there think that they are doing something right, so they will continue their douche-baggery and probably recruit more followers in the process, which means slimmer pickings of decent guys for you. JUST STOP IT.
Next topic: Skankiness.
Ladies, I will try to keep this one short and to the point without metaphors so I have time to discuss the guy’s issues. If you think dressing skanky will get you a good guy, stop wasting your time. It won’t. The guys who like skanky are not what you are looking for, and if they are, may I please suggest counseling, because you are better than that. You deserve so much better than that. Let me also say, however, that I am not knocking cleavage. But let’s be honest ladies. You know what is and isn’t skanky. You aren’t blind.
Now for the Guys.
Guys, Stop bein’ idiots and stop commenting on your junk. Especially around the ladies. Chances are, if a girl is just thrilled to hear about your well endowment, she’s been trilled thrilled to hear about it from many other guys before. And if that’s the case, you probably don’t wanna “swimming in that pond” if you catch my meaning (which something tells me you do. Let me please allow me to remind you of an ancient saying, modified slightly. “The bigger they are, the harder they fall…off”
Second, Pull up your pants and put on a frickin’ belt.
Third, Chewing tobacco is NASTY. Period. Stop. Any woman that says the she thinks that it is attractive is a liar.
4th- Cockiness has many different names. Egotism, arrogance, superciliousness, and my favorite, Douche-baggery. Take your pick. They all suck.
Five- Just listen for God’s sake. It’s not hard, and chances are that what she is saying isn’t as bad as you think it is. Conversation is an art, like music or painting, and there is a considerable number of “the ladies” who prefer “artsy” guys. Just listen. It’s not hard and what better do you have to do while you are sitting there pretending to listen to her.
6-Jealousy. Guys. Girls have guy friends. You have to understand that. There is no need for such jealousy. If you are feeling jealous however, don’t puff up and be a douche about it. Tell her how you feel, calmly, but don’t expect her to give in, because she shouldn’t have to. Even if you have a well founded suspicion or feeling that there may be something going on between her and another guys friend, calmly tell her your feelings. It’s all a matter of communication.
Now for the both of you, men and women. Stop being superficial. It’s not important. I’m not saying don’t look for someone to whom you are not attracted. But don’t make a 6 pack or giant breasts a deal breaker. There is so much more to humans than the physical being. The physical will die while the soul will last forever. Also, in many instances, people who are “physically perfect” are only that way because they are self-absorbed jerks who spend all their time thinking about themselves and how they feel like they must maintain their superior physique.
I’m sure there is a lot I have forgotten to say, but I’m afraid that If I don’t stop now, I’ll go on forever. –TheRinker
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